Trustees Propose Super-acronym School Program

A recent convening of the National Board of Governors of Education (NBGE) resulted in the adoption of a new interdisciplinary school program concept called TEAMSCHMEB-D. 

The concept of TEAMSCHMEB-D is broad and all encompassing. It stands for Technology, Engineering, Art, Mathematics, Science, Computers, History, Music, English, Business, and Dance.  

“We were getting a little tired of hearing from all these people about all their STEM and STEAM and such,” said James Wallace, chair of the NBGE ad-hoc committee that proposed the concept. “These folks have just served to devalue all of the other school subjects.” 

Every school will now be required to incorporate an all-encompassing TEAMSCHMEB-D activity during TEAMSCHMEB-D Awareness Week. When asked if that would be enough time to cover everything, Larry Feinstein, Superintendent of Springfield Schools, said, “It’s a bit of a conundrum since that’s the same week we usually cover study skills, but we’ll be able to pack it in there. We always find creative ways to deal with unfunded mandates.”

Despite lobbying efforts, some school programs are still left feeling like they’re on the outside. “We can appreciate that kids love to do cool projects like make rockets and code new apps, but the fact that we’d do anything in school that’s doesn’t include sports is kind of ridiculous,” said Tom Butler, head of the Alliance for Sports in Schools. “I mean, would it be so hard to just slide another “S” into the acronym? It would still sound the same.”

Mr. Butler made suggestions for new projects that might make that connection. “Line a kid up in goal and shoot the rocket at him. That would be just tremendous.”

Ana Wallace, director of the Foreign Language Teachers Association said, “We really wracked our brains for hours in there, but we just couldn’t find a way to include Spanish, French, Korean, Latin, German, Japanese, Mandarin, and Swahili. We strive for cultural diversity, but it’s real tough to incorporate SFKLGJMS without having the advantage of at least a few other vowels.”

The president of the Home Economics Teachers Association could not be reached for comment. 


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